Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Is it a good idea to snoop?


Originally Posted on March 31, 2011


Have you ever thought about snooping?  You have a shady boyfriend and you want to look through all of his stuff the second he leaves you alone in his house.  Think before you snoop because you might find that dreaded something you're looking for. Also, why are you snooping?  If he's keeping something from you and you have a gut feeling....that is enough to go on.  You don't need validation for a couple of reasons.  First, he'll flip the script on you...you're now the guilty party for snooping and second, if you find something there's no way you can forget it and move on without telling him you snooped.

Good relationships are built on trust.  If you ask yourself...can I trust him and the answer is no...then this is not a good relationship.  Sure we all lie to ourselves and try to make that not so special guy "the one" but sometimes you just need to realize...he's not "the one" and move on.  You deserve better.

Also, if you start snooping and don't find anything, you can go mad thinking that you're missing it.  It will start to show in your relationship.  You then start to make it obvious that you don't trust him.  Also at this point, you are the one with the problem.  You have trust issues that YOU need to work on.

Okay let's say he is hiding something because face it there are a lot of shady guys out there and you have that gut feeling that something is going on and you can't sleep until you know....ASK HIM!  Believe me you can tell if he is lying or hiding something just by talking to him.  Now I am not suggesting an interrogation or screaming ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING?!?  There is such a thing as being subtle.  Before you ask him, think about the process.  Don't just confront him with a million hostile questions.  

I think one of the main reasons I knew Paul was finally "the one" is because our relationship was completely open from the beginning.  No secrets, no lies, just the honest truth.  Believe me...I'd been around so many of those shady guys that in the beginning I had my doubts but soon realized that Paul wasn't like all the rest but that was my issue not his - it's tough being single and single women tend to get a little jaded from all of the bad relationships, but when you realize that it doesn't have to be that way is sheer bliss.  

Being honest has to go both ways.  If you want him to be completely honest you need to be completely honest with him, too.  No holding back.  Nothing!  I mean think about it - you tell your best friend everything so he now needs to be your best friend and know everything.

Have you ever snooped?  Did you get caught snooping?  Did your snooping pay off?

5 comments:

  1. I snooped on an ex. Checked his facebook messages, found messages from a girl asking him to come back over and make out some more.

    Snooped on my other ex, found texts from a girl thanking him for a good night.

    I have never snooped on Tony and will never do so again. I have no reason to snoop on him. I think I did it with the others because I suspected something and wanted proof.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I never snooped and I don't think I ever will! 2 of my exes got caught without my doing anything. The others were good guys but it just didn't work out...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I did when I was younger, but the relationship I am in now I have never snooped because I trust him fully. At one point I realized that my snooping was because I didn't trust that person and if I couldn't trust him than I never would be able to.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i snooped and i didnt like it
    like you said .. you find stuff
    you cannot forget and it hunts you
    down :(


    imagine me with my long distance
    relationship .. without trust
    i wouldnt go anywhere ..

    Sebastian and I had our trust
    issues at the beginning and it
    was really hard .. but we keep
    getting better at it everyday =)


    so ladies .. no DONT SNOOP!
    you'll regret it later


    xoxo
    www.onlyaflightaway.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes...I'm guilty of snooping. And that's how I found out my ex was cheating on me. Actually all 3 of my exes. I hate snooping I do. But it shows when they aren't being honest. I need to get over the past and move forward. Definitely. If I hadn't of snooped, I feel like it still would've ended but maybe saved my heart from being broken. Not sure it's worth it. Because as much as I can sit here and say they went behind my back, I invaded their trust as well.

    ReplyDelete

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