Is keeping a secret from someone close to you the same as lying?
Once I got a speeding ticket and I didn't tell Paul because I was going to have a friend take it to Traffic Court for me. I thought...I'll get it cleaned up and THEN I will tell him. Well I forgot (since I hadn't had a ticket in awhile) that when you get a speeding ticket you get TONS of junk mail about taking a traffic school course to have the points removed. Needless to say, Paul found out by checking the mail and then was pretty upset with me for not telling him. I wasn't necessarily not telling him for any particular reason. I just thought...why tell him now. He said keeping secrets was like lying and that we have to be able to have trust. Seriously I thought he was blowing it way out of control but I guess keeping secrets can be a slippery slope.
So what if your friends are keeping secrets? Is it the same as keeping it from your partner or family? Is it breaking the trust of the friendship?
I recently found out that a really good friend was keeping a pretty big secret from me. I am torn as to what to do? Should I be hurt? Does it mean she doesn't value our friendship? Should I say something to her? Will it just become a big huge mess if I do say something?
I am the first to admit that forgiveness can be a long process for me. I just get really upset when people I care hurt me. I usually just cut toxic people out of my life once they become extremely toxic but I ultimately never cut out the people I care for...no matter what. I mean sure I'll get upset but aren't most relationships equipped with unconditional love.
Not sure what to do...so for now I will do nothing and just let her continue living with her secret. Isn't ultimately her life so she can do whatever she wants?