Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Be Positive!

So we all know someone that is overly negative and heck sometimes on the worst day we might be that person, but I am here to tell you that you can honestly help yourself to feel better by thinking positive.  

For the most part I would describe myself as a problem solver.  However, there are those times when something just gets under my skin and I can't see my way to solving it and therefore negativity brews. 

A few months ago, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly and I had to go up north for the funeral.  My emotions were threefold:  (1) Sadness - from losing my grandmother and seeing my grandfather grief; (2) Anger - my sister and I got into a huge fight before we left on our road trip north; (3) Disappointment - I just became overly fed up with the family drama; mainly my thoughts on my relationships with my sisters.  So of course, once I got home it all seemed to boil over inside all at once.

My first thought was to problem solve.  So I went to my trusty friend google and started typing in random searches. Initially, two things occurred.  I found countless articles about forgiveness and blah blah blah. Really?  My thoughts ... sure I can forgive and then forgive again the next time and forgive again the next time, but really?? - I didn't remember googling "how to be a doormat" so needless to say that was unhelpful.  Then, I legitimately contemplated therapy but honestly my feeling was that I didn't have the strength or the want to catch someone up on the issue.  Step two, I started looking for self help books.  Surely there is one out there entitled, "How to Deal with your Sisters that even in their 30s are still your Bratty Little Sisters" - no such luck.  However, I did find The Gratitude Diaries, by Janice Kaplan and this book helped me start my journey into positive thinking.

Spoiler alert but the overall message of the book is to find something positive in every day.  It can be ANYTHING.  Also, keep a gratitude diary.  This is where I initially got hung up.  Diary?  Oh I need a pretty one?  Etc.  Then I thought okay one more thing to lug around and or have to remember to do every night when I get home.  Ugh no.  So we all know how much I love my friend google and chrome so I searched through the chrome apps and found Journey.  It's a pretty basic journaling app.

On October 20th, I started my journal.  I decided that mornings were the best time for me.  Recap anything bothering me from the night before (you know any of the stuff keeping me up at night or causing me to toss and turn) and start the day off with some positive thoughts.  It helps me get that "thing" bothering me out of the forefront of my mind by addressing it and then moving on to happier thoughts.  

My first day had 7 positive items.  The items range from loving my new shorter hair to feeling grateful for my husband.  Also, #7 being props to myself for getting to #7 right out of the gate. There are some days when it can seem hard to find something positive (this is also addressed in the book) but even the littlest thing counts.  For example, one day one of my positive thoughts was leaving the house on time and not having to deal with all the stress that comes from running late. The point is your positive thought(s) don't have to be earth shattering stuff it just something positive that puts a pep in your step.  If and when I get to a complete loss of something positive ... I'll leave the app up and think about it.  Something will come to you, sometimes it's just hard to pull something out of thin air and it not feel demanding ... THINK OF SOMETHING POSITIVE NOW!!!

So once I got the journaling down, I have started implementing the positive thoughts into real life action so that when something bad happens the negative doesn't knee-jerk out.  (again discussed in the book) This is the hardest part.  C'mon - there are just moments when we all get mad and/or are in a bad mood.  Which is completely okay.  It's not about suppressing that or making yourself feel bad for having feelings about whatever bothering you.  The positive is going to help you move past it, not instantly in some cases but to where it's not overly consuming. 

Here's a generic example, recently out shopping I had horrible customer service.  Two employees at said store were completely rude to almost down right hateful.  Instead of getting mad or being rude in return I just thought to myself stay positive.  At that moment, it might have been through gritted teeth but I made it out of the store with my purchase and without surrendering to their level of hostility.  In the past, it would have put a damper on my day, plus don't get me wrong I was upset when it was happening.  However to move past it, I just reminded myself that (1) the store was busy and who knows what those customer service people had endured before me (um no NOT black friday but still), (2) inside my actual world - these people don't exist (of course they exist but up until this moment I had no knowledge of that existence).  I don't know them and will probably never see them again so why let them have so much power to be able to affect me this much.  (3) Laugh it off - literally.  I can find the humor in practically everything so it's time to start putting that to use in annoying moments.  (4) Think about how great the actual day has been and not to focus on that 5 or 10 mins.

All in all, I am a work in progress, it's only been under two months, but I can tell I have made some progress (note the positive thought).  It will take time to build up to being at a place of always looking on the bright side.  Also, it's totally okay if you have to just start off with reminding yourself each time ... STAY POSITIVE!

So even though my sisters will probably never change, I am changing my internal thoughts by trying to focus on positives rather than being engulfed by negatives that I can do nothing about.  Believe me positive thoughts aren't the magic solution to all your problems.  It's not as if everything bad just disappears, but the positive thoughts keep you sane.  So in a sense it is being able to see this is crap but this is good and to be happy for the good so that the crap doesn't take over.

So what's your positive thought for today?

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Purple Hair

I keep having dreams where I have dyed my hair purple, violet, or gray with a hint of violet.  The main issue in my dream is always ... will I be able to wear this to work?  So I had a great idea - why not create a pic of myself with purple hair and see how it looks ... well?  Now with my choppy short hair - don't I just look so millennial?

So with all the fab hair colors out there now ... can the corporate world just grow up and get it?
Oh wait ... I think we have BIGGER issues that society can't even handle ... so I guess we are a LONG way away from purple hair being accepted in a corporate world.  Maybe once all those baby boomers aren't in charge anymore {pondering those zen thoughts ahhhhh} ... can't wait for that era!!

So what do you think?
Purple Hair? 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Friday, June 12, 2015

Hello Strangers ...

So I've done it ... I have a new blog!  It's looks a lot like home [this blog] right now.  But, I am working on it.  Meanwhile, I posted a cute Friday Letters post, so please check it out ... 

Monday, April 6, 2015

It's Okay Thursday/Hello Monday #5

... to be so productive that you "forget" to blog!

... to have tire issues on April Fool's Day and have to preface every text with ... this is NOT an April Fool's joke.

... to buy 11 items from the dollar days area at Target in an effort to get organized.  {hmmmm ... maybe a good idea for a blog post.}

... to forget to finish this post!

Hello Monday #5 
It is truly amazing how much better my makeup and hair look on the weekend. 
So if you have never tried Starbucks Via Iced Coffee - I highly recommend.  
So I just watched Into the Woods over the weekend. 
Why did the music sound EXACTLY like Sweeney Todd?
Seriously I even googled that sh!t and came up with nothing.
Why is it on weekends I am all about managing my down time 
like it was my last meal or something.  Um no, I cannot do XYZ, 
that is a total lack of consideration to my weekend of staying at 
home and doing nothing for 48 hours straight.  

How are you doing today?

Monday, March 9, 2015

Hello Monday #4

Even though it is just as annoying as reminding me to change the clock, I have to say it just once.  UGH!  I HATE THE TIME CHANGE!!!!  Also, I am going to step up on my soapbox for just a second.  So, if I am supposed to limit my electronic device usage at night to sleep better.  [In case you have been living under a rock - electronic devices emit a blue light that mimics sunlight and therefore keeps us awake because our internal clock doesn't get to wind down.]  Than why the heck should I change my clock so that when I get up in the morning it is COMPLETE DARKNESS [when it should be light out to wake me up] and stays DAYLIGHT LONGER in the evening [when I am supposed to be naturally gearing down to go to sleep]?  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! 

Okay enough complaining for today ... frankly I am too tired to continue.
I hope everyone has a great Monday!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope you all have a lovely V Day tomorrow!!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

It's Okay Thursday ...

... to not care about 50 Shades of Grey movie, book, etc. (gray/grey ... whichever)

... to just breakdown in the middle of the freeway and not move your car - yep just abandon it during morning rush hour ... yep totally great plan!  GRRRRR

... that I am super excited to see the girls this weekend - haven't seen those little munchkins in awhile and the oldest one ... is always busy!  Hello - your Aunt needs you more than your little friends. 

... that I am counting down for the weekend - THREE DAY WEEKEND ~ WOOHOO!!!!  Paul says, "What elementary school holiday do I have off now?"  PRESIDENTS DAY  {insert image of me doing the cabbage patch and running man ... yep my dancing skillz are THAT good}

... to wear your hair in a bun everyday.  Yep folks, it's called the snooze button, my dear old friend.

... to want Spring/Summer to get here just so my skin won't be so dry.  AHHHH!  I can't take it anymore.  Does any face moisturizer actually work?

... to FINALLY break out the sewing kit to fix the sleeve of my sweater.  Seriously it had been ripped down the seam at the wrist for practically the entire time I have had it (years) and today I just said screw it ... I'm attempting to sew this back together and .... looks perfect!  TAKE THAT home economic teacher that doubted my sewing skillz!
What's okay with you today?

Monday, February 9, 2015

Do or Don't: Bobby Pin Overload

I recently saw an article about unique ways of wearing bobby pins, {click here for more styles}

I thought this one was ridiculous.
It literally looks as if she decided to just wear the whole pack.

However, this one I thought was sort of cute.

Then last night I was watching Girls on HBO and saw Shoshanna rocking it.

What do you think ... Do or Don't?

Friday, February 6, 2015

Friday Letters

Dear Friday, thank you for FINALLY showing up!  Dear Weather, please pick a side - cold or hot - and stick with it.  Dear New Purse, I promise to fill you up this weekend so you can make your proud debut.  Dear Unknown Numbers Calling My Cell Phone,  Stop!  STOP CALLING ME!  Obviously you are no one I need to talk to because you NEVER leave a message!  Dear Gmail, When I unsubscribe to junk mail and then flag it as spam when I keep receiving it - FLAG IT AS SPAM!  Dear Inbox, You thought you had the best of me, but now who's winning - this girl - only 12 flagged emails needing action ... boo yeah!  Dear Mr. Sandman, thank you for a lovely week of going to bed early/on time.  I feel so rested.  Dear neighborhood children, Don't leave your bike in the middle of the road - need I really say more?  Dear Starbucks, Please impliment drive-thrus at all locations AND work out getting that two lane system that McDonalds has ... STAT!  Dear Nosey People, STOP BEING NOSEY!  Do you!  I'm good.  Dear attitude, we had some problems this week - you thought you were going to get me down but I overcame with the help of SLEEP!  Dear Friday Fancies, sorry needed a break.  Dear Readers, thank you for all your support and have a great weekend!!

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