Saturday, March 26, 2011

Cut it out!

So when I decided to write this post - I was going to bash myself for what I considered a flaw I have but after doing some research I've decided that sometimes you do need to cut some people out of your life.  I'll admit that sometimes I am quick to pull the trigger but I think it's because I have had a lot of toxic people in my life and I'd rather just get it over with than continually putting up with the same old bs from this person on a day to day basis.  

Here's how:

1) What is this person's gift to your life?  We interact with people for reasons...what do you get from this person - words of wisdom, emotional support, helping hand, humor, confidence, etc.  Chances are if you feel like this person matters to your life then you are less likely to cut them loose.  However, if you ask yourself this question and you don't have a positive response - then chances are you need to cut them loose.

2) What direction is your life moving in?  Sometimes you arrive at a different place in your life than your friends.  Perhaps it is your time to grow up and your friend just wants to go out partying all the time.  Maybe you are getting married and they are still living the single life.  There really is no middle ground so sometimes moving on means leaving people behind.

3) If they only could change -- face it no one changes someone else.  You can only change yourself and that is if you are WILLING to make the change so it is definitely not going to work on someone else.

4) Bite the bullet - If you know that someone in your life needs to go - do it and be done.  You'll be much happier when you do.  You'll alleviate the stress of having to do it and alleviate yourself from the negativeness you receive from said person.

5) Don't wait on a catastrophe.  It's not like you have to have some big blow out to end it - you can part ways gracefully.  You know with a "Take Care" (I am a firm believer in when a guy tells you to "take care" he means nice knowing you so use it here).

6) No guilt - don't go back.  It's not fair to you or them.  Once you say goodbye it is for good no more chances so again make sure it is truly someone toxic and not just a spat you had with your BFF.

Good luck and remember you're not a mean person; you two just aren't a good match.  Also, we all have friends that we will keep forever and friends that fade...how many people do you hang out with from kindergarten?  

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