Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Shia's Healthy New Lifestyle Day 9

Healthy Relationships

I've always been someone to make sure I wasn't in a bad relationship with a guy. Believe me I wasn't always the one ready to call it quits right off the bat but I have been able to realize afterward and learned from my mistakes. I just have never and can't ever be someone that is treated badly by someone that I love and that is supposed to love me. With that said though, I've realized that I have a lot of unhealthy relationships with others.

With that said came my new mantra to be stress free at work. It really isn't the actual work that is stressful, sure there are deadlines and tons of stuff to get done, but it's really my interactions with others here. As I have previously stated, I just feel that there are tons of unhappy people here at work. I've been letting these people bring me down. So now I feel like I am in a bad relationship with coworkers and I've had to make steps to end these bad relationships. First off, I really don't need to hear other people's reasons for being upset and stressed. Their negativity cannot become mine. For example, I don't need to get caught up in the I hate whoever or whatever department. If I'm trying to stay zen I don't need to hear other people rant about nonsense.

My new approach is to change the subject. I really don't want to hear about your crappy email from whoever...so let's talk about something else and maybe that will help you to get over it and move on as well.

So enough about work. With my new zen attitude, I've also come to realize that I can't listen to family members go on and on about their drama. This weekend was my reboot for this work week and I literally felt like all Saturday I just listened to my sister complain and complain. I of course was trying to offer her advice but then realized...she's not even listening to what I am saying she is just calling me to unload her stress onto me. OH NO SIR! Believe me there will be no more phone calls like Saturday and if she has to be told so I will make sure it is crystal clear.

Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about a friend or family one in need because of serious problems or issues. I'm just talking about the daily bitching that a lot of people tend to do. I was once guilty of that myself. I am just putting a foot down and stopping all of the negative pointless chatter. I'm not trying to be mean or hateful. I just really want to be happier and healthier.

5 comments:

  1. and thank hey zeus you put your foot down- or I would never shut up! lol. complaining isn't healthy

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  2. Girl I by no means was talking about you...I'm just talking about those who bitch just to bitch not someone with an actual problem. But then again...maybe...jk

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  3. lol, I know I just wanted to be funny- it seriously does feel better to not complain all the time...its like it breeds more complaining. you start looking for more to discuss etc

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  4. good for you for promoting positive attitudes in your life! i definitely understand your need to draw a line with people, and it's your right to reserve your own happiness.

    that said, i just want to give my 2 cents about being in unhealthy relationships. don't fall into the trap of thinking that you could never be in one. ANYONE can be in one. perhaps you have a support system or an outlook that would make it easier for you to get out of one, but no one is immune to the unhealthy behavior of other people -- you can only control how you react to it. some of the most powerful, confident, and successful women i know have fallen victim to abusive and unhealthy relationships. just wanted to point that out!

    kelly

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  5. Hi Kelly,

    I'm happy that you read my blog. Welcome to Shia's world. I don't think you understood what I was trying to say...I'm just trying to be more positive so when people are negative, I can make a choice to walk away or to lighten the mood. As for your comment about abusive relationships and how strong women can easily fall into them. I agree. My own mother, who I totally believe is one of the strongest women I know, was in a physically abusive relationship and how she handled it (which took time) and overcame it was an inspiration to myself about how a woman should be treated. So my first statement of saying I have never been and never will be in an unhealthy romantic relationship is due to the fact that I know what an abusive relationship is and what the signs and of course the actions look like.

    Can you be immune to other people's negativity? Of course not. But, I'm just saying I need to stop taking on other people's negativity and letting it become my own. I am of course speaking of general negativity like oh my commute to work is sooo long...I hate when people...blah blah blah.

    Thanks for the comment though I really appreciate you following me. You've taught me a lesson, so thank you. I need to be more specific with blogs. Not everyone will ultimately know me personally when they read my blog so throwing out blanket statements may not come across like I meant them too.

    Again, thanks for reading and feel free to post anytime.

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Thank you so much for commenting! I really appreciate it!

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