Cue the Crickets

{Remember when I went to New Hampshire last year and wrote in a

notebook while I was gone from the blogging world...

well I wrote this and never posted it so here it finally is....enjoy!}

So it's Sunday late evening and we are staying in because everything is closed.  It is super quiet.  The nothingness and the overwhelming sense of calm just makes me think of death, you know like slowing down equals time ending.  It always has.  Just those quiet moments with the sun going down, peaceful and quiet just makes me think of how short life is.  We live in such a fast paced world.  Everything is go go go.  I'm guilty of "wishing for the weekend" so in a sense I am "wishing my life away".  These moments of calm are just daunting to me in a way.  Creepy?  I know.  But when you think about it don't we just rush and do so much to experience life?  Aren't we just trying to do enough to make our lives meaningful?  But who's life is more meaningful?  Someone who lives on their 3rd or 4th generation farm out in the rural area or the modern family that are involved in a million and one activities and are constantly trying to beat the clock?  I stopped wearing a watch for part of that reason.  I was tired of being a slave to time - constantly needing to know what time it is.  But going back to this daunting calm, I even experienced them when I was young.  Quiet summer evenings, my mom would be giving me a bath or getting me ready for bed and it would make me think of "the end".  At this point I was young - no mad go go go lifestyle so why the morbid thoughts?   Am I just a city girl at heart with a need for the hustle and bustle?  Or is it just human nature?  I hate my commute and hectic days but long for them when it's too calm?  

So how do we obtain a middle ground....not too busy and not too calm?  Doesn't the hustle and bustle always sneak in and overtake everything in some way.  If you are thinking, no I have my time managed just think back to your last holiday get together and all the time stress that went into spending time with family.  A lot right?  Don't kid yourself...A TON!  How often do we try to make holidays easier?

Also people say all the time that there aren't enough hours in the day.  Think about the last time you had to wait.  You were annoyed right?  Come on we are all guilty of getting extremely annoyed at having to wait and feeling like our time is being wasted.  

Basically our time is precious and everyday we take it for granted.  I'm not suggesting that we all go back to that daunting quiet farm house in the middle of no where but maybe something in between the nothingness and the exhausting hustle and bustle.  

Put more effort into the balancing act.  Don't just say it.  Do it.  Everyone needs to budget money these days but time budgeting is just as important.  Concentrate on the quality of your life being measured by your happiness and not how much you need to do vs. how much you are getting done.  We all have a to do list but maybe budgeting your time will make you realize that it all doesn't have to be done all at once.

So maybe with all of this said, next time I experience one of those calm peaceful moments I'll be able to sit back and enjoy it and not have that looming fear of time ticking away.  [or maybe I am crazy....always a possibility =)]