Ask Shia's Advice #4

Dear Shia,

I'm recently out of a relationship (my first big one) and I've never really needed to "put myself out there" before. So how does a girl that usually tends to be one of the guys be flirty?

From Friendly to Flirty

(see even guys need help)

Dear From Friendly to Flirty,

As for flirting, I am a firm believer in "be yourself". You want this person to like you for you...not some misconception of what they thought you were so just be yourself.

Also, self confidence is key.  It doesn't mean that you have to act stuck up or better than everyone in the room.  You just need to be comfortable in your own skin.  

So, you should just strike up a conversation about something you enjoy and ask his opinion.  Don't pretend to like something that you don't.  For example, if you are out and there's a game on TV and you either could care less or hate the teams be honest.  Say...I don't get all the hype about ___________ or I really don't like ______________ because of ______________ and chances are he will keep the conversation rolling. If there's nothing around to latch onto for conversation just start off with small talk. Try to refrain from it becoming a game of 20 questions but usually when you speak to a guy first you break the ice which gives him more confidence to talk to you ~ most likely he was standing there trying to figure out what to say to you to get the ball rolling.

So you tried to chat with some guy and he shot you down or blew you off ... okay his loss - don't get discourage because you'll notice that some other guy in the wing is willing to step up and take over the conversation.  It's like that saying ... practice makes perfect.  You need to just get used to talking to guys and then it will just become second nature.

As for being "one of the guys", I am a firm believer in that guys and girls can never be friends ... any guy that has EVER seemed to be my guy buddy ... I've found out later he had more intentions of just hanging out in a friendly manner ... so look around your group of guy friends ... there definitely is one waiting for his moment.

Let me know how it goes!  Good luck!!